still thinking

when you keep on thinking only to find an endless solution. it'll drive you mad.
you just can't let go and keep on creating scenarios after scenarios on what went wrong, what could've and shud've happened, and why did it happened?!
your mind keep on telling you which scenario fits best and explain the major cause of what had happened.

It's a denial phase.

you wont get over it. something get your mind off it for a while... but it never really went away. you wud think positive thoughts would remedy what already happened. Well, honestly, they do built up some motivation and fair bit strength to move on.. but not entirely.

you get paranoid.

a friend said to me it's a major thing to get out of your comfort zone. I was wondering whether stepping out of my comfort zone only ends up getting what I've been afraid of these years? Although I know deep inside that it aint the whole truth. So, the answer to that would be no, but yes it feels as if overcoming your fear don't really give you anything in return, in fast motion.

been there done that.
another friend said that to me. At some point, a person at any age would experience the same feeling. the question of walking out of your comfort zone, that is.

but initially, this ain't only about that.
it's all about me cant keep my mind off from questions and explanations. It's a habit.
or is it the insecurity thing that takes over?

I'm not sure.