selingan

gue baru baca blog orang. topic is waitressing.
jadi waitress udah hal yang biasa disini (or her case, in the states). gue juga udah pernah nyoba waitressing, biarpun gak last long. cuma 1 bulan teman2!! gak betah gue. capeknya gak sebanding ama income yg gue terima. HAHA

tapi bukan itu yg mo gue bahas sih..
di indo kan mikir waitressing itu kerjaan yg.. yah bisa dibilang, rendahan. Tapiii.. gimana kalo elo pas lagi jam shift elo dan saat itu elo nge-serve someone famous? This lady in her blog said she waited Matthew Perry of Chandler Friends!! OMG! ngiriiiiiii !!! lo pasti bakalan bilang, waitressing adalah pengalaman yang berkesan buat elo. Kalo mastercard bilang.. Priceless.

Don't necessarily waitressing sih. Elo kerja sbg customer service dimana2 juga bakalan ada pengalaman berkesan. Saat ini buat gue? Cukup hanya tau kalo orang belanja itu maunya macem2 dan kadang2 nyleneh2. Gak se-simple kalo GUE belanja -beli ini itu, ke kasir, scan2, total2, bayar, dadah bye-bye. Apalagi kalo ibu2 ato bapak2... mau bayarnya aja ada beratus2 cara. padahal mah tinggal cash, credit or debit? easy as. tapi nggak buat mreka. ada aja gitu yang bikin gue plonga-plongo coba ngertiin maunya mereka.

Tapi yah begitu.. someday pasti ini bakalan berkesan. LEBIH berkesan lagi kalo ada matthew perry blanja ke tempat gue dan gue yg nge serve!!! LOL as if!

hearts in the air

he's in love.
she's in love.
they're in love.
as a friend said.. when's MY turn???

LOL

winter break

I had 25 minutes before today's shift started. I've been walking for the past minute with destination: the supermarket. At swan st, I notice a small cozy bookshop that I always wanted to go. Then I decided to go inside the book talk cafe and see if it's as cozy as it looks from the outside. And?
I aint mistaken! It's really cozy, nice and warm inside as it appears on the outside. The smell of coffee spreads around the room. People chat, read books and just chill-in. I instantly fell in love.

It's a bookshop that I've always see in movies.. a place that I always wanted to go.. a place i've always wanted to own. but of course the latter is jes a long-term dream.. =) Is it a silly one?

I've said on earlier post, I love to buy books... but not really into reading them. stupid eh? :p No no listen, sometimes the review or 1st chapter don't give out the tingles, hence stop reading 'em. but that don't stop me from buying other non-readable books, still. :p

There are books I plan to read this winter break... lots of 'em ya. 1st, have to finish bergdorf blondes. Jes bought it few days ago. People say it's witty and easy-to-read book. so why not buy it. I never like chick lit, even as famous as the devil wears prada. For me, those books are relatively similar. the lifestyle of american - manhanttan girls with their ladies-like issues, ie. men, shoes, haute couture, high-maintanance lifestyle, extravagant night life, etc. In other words, things that Jakarta-ers desperately try to adapt!! the latter? pity.

2ndly, the book don't think of an elephant!! Gahh.. still havent finish it. it's been months!! It's not boring, believe you me. it's jes not light. if u get wat i mean. I will finish it this winter break. I can read it jes for few hours cos only few chapters left. but so lazy to think. Reading the book needs to think, unlike bergdorf.

3rdly, pada sebuah beranda bondan winarno. honestly, gue gak tau itu buku tentang apa. lol. a fren told me it's good book. so yah why not buy it (again). It's a compilation of short stories. I've read 2 of 'em. Can't really comment on 'em. hmm.. must read all then know bondan's writing style to be able to appreciate the book.

next in line.. prolly i might also read saman ayu utami. i've read it once, but .. hehe.. dun understand *blush* stupid ay? otherwise, i'd read other indo book i bought since last summer. lol.

Althou I plan to read all of those books.. but by the end of the break, i might only read one book.. which is either bergdorf or don't think of an elephant. lol. So much for the list, eh? :p

Off the topic, a pair of Uggs is already near my reach.. I knew where to spot them and then oh-so-proudly wear them! :p

You'll be mine UGGS. in mere days. for sure.

hear that?

it's the sound of nothingness... an eerie silence.
blank add a blank makes a blank blank.
there these strange moods that come and go, more often than before.
I'm walking yet I don't feel my feet on the ground.
Floating on the open air.. passing through these people walk by without care.
Since Girl Interrupted, I can't help but wonder what is borderline personality? Aren't we all -at some point- has a minor borderline personality syndrome? I'm not sure.

I think there's a reason behind today's mood swings.

Tomoro is work. Honestly, i still need to work out my place there. The newbie tag really bugs me since i ain't progressing well enuf. i hate for having talk about this. brings down the mood, i reckon. so shush.

to add to today's horrible mood swing, THE BREAK UP is a shitty movie. It's crap! crap! crap! I expect to laugh and feel all lovey-dovey when I bought the ticket. What do I get? Boredom. Massively!

The movie's flat, dry and no sense of humor whatsoever. There's no romance. No comedy. No drama. In simple term, gak greget! basi! Sampah! Vince Vaughnn is so not the comic dude I expected. Aniston is giving out all the Rachel-ish drama. The ending? they might think it's heartbreaking but it's not. absolutely NOT. It felt flat and dry. I aint laughing, nor crying. but I still can't figure out what made this shitty production beat up davinci code in terms of millions of dollars income? having said that, you can only say, WHATTHE?!

you know what, i'm sure brad pitt has something to do with it. the love square (?) between bradgelina and vince - aniston. Prolly, they think the break up try to tell something about the break up of used-to-be couple bradniston? since you know, people are curious on WHY they broke up. Hence the movie. Ya.. sabi gaju. Point is, the movie suck as.

i'm still in bad mood mode. need a cure but dunno what.

sepi

ok ok i admit. it's awfully damm quiet without sis around. i dun like to live alone.. it's too quiet i can hear myself think. FYI, thats not good.

at times i kno it's overbearing to live wif her but then again.. it's not as irritating as to live on ur own. altho at some time later, im thinking to live alone jes before i marry some dude. *grin* i've been thinking of leaving this city lately. leaving to the other side of the globe for about 3-4 months. that ought to be fun but again, i hav loads other things in mind.. not one of em include going wild and mad fun. nope.

i jes can't wait to go on holiday and freshen my mind before im all stress out again.

David Tench

"Some people think iPods are good. But anything that can hold 10,000 Britney Spears songs must be evil."

I dont know who the dude is but his quotes always shown on TV numerous times. They're all hillarious! above is just one of the lamo ones. He's trying to be mysterious, looky the pic on the left. He sed on his website that in time he will add piece by piece of the pic to fit in the puzzle and finally expose himself to the world. Why all the secrecy? A marketing buzz to make him infamous with his unique mystery?

Well, honestly, he's done it. I wudnt know the dude if it isnt cos of his witty quotes. I love 'em and can't wait to read what's the next quote will be. I wonder, is he Australian?

A stranger and I

Stranger (S): are you over 21?
Me (M): yes.

........

S: so.. wat u study?
M: marketing
S: wicked! wat year?
M: 2nd. almost graduate.
S: thats so cool. so wat u wanna do with it?
M: hmm.. i'm not sure..

For a 23 year old who donno what her dreams are, thats pretty much a shotdown. She reckons it's time to stop finding another quick fix, an easy escape.

What do I do with my degrees?
The answer I dont know seems bit immature.
I wish I knew something that I don't know.

today

let see... lots happened today. kinda unsual for my daily 'chores'. There are mixed up about my payslips at coles. bah. i get lesser pay than i'm supposed to. massive chaos, seriously. hopefully, it all sorted out soon.

afterwards, i was jes walking, minding my own things. suddenly, there's this lady who greeted me. straightaway i knew she's one of those marketing research or one of human/animal/children rights organisation thing. turned out she was representative from one of the animal rights organisation called HSI - humane society international. talk talk talk ... it all ends up with donation, i.e. money.

i donno how i get into their trap cos usually i jes straight forward say NO. Dunno whats gotten into me today. I just agreed on most things she said. Honestly, the information she told me was quite interesting. they were about cats and dogs furs which are traded for sale in Australia. Sale means produced into dozens of retailer products, e.g. bags, shoes, jackets, etc. I mean, the matters about furs raised since millions years ago, but they were of orangutans' or more furry animals. Never knew that cats and dogs furs are also one of the main elements for shoes or bags, that I might've bought and worn!!!!!! gyaahhh... iffy bok! Anyway, those stories really got my attention today thus i asked questions and actually interested to those things she said. One thing that made me uncomfortable tho, she kept complimenting me as if those things would get me appreciate her more. I know their tricks, those marketing researchers type. I studied those things. They have some kinda guidebook for it. Stupidly, I learned about all that and still fell into their trap? see, so stupid ahh!

so it all ends up with me being registered into their organisation and withdrawing money from my bank to theirs' - every bloody month! Bah. Not that i'm stingy or anything but i myself realised that i aint really an animal person. Rather than giving out to them animals, sorry, but I prefer helping my own nation with our own catastrophies. Jogja? Hello!

speaking of furs. I totally cant understand why Australia with all their legal and regulation crap can be fooled with these illegal traders? I mean theyre transfering a definite fur material into the country and do nothing? But on the other hand... aussie is famous for their uggs, which by all means made from wools. Those are animal fur as well, are they not? they so proud of their uggs too! He he I even want a pair! i'm walking on both sides here, Yay animal rights and Yes for uggies! Lol. but seriously, I'm not surprised to hear about illegal trades if they happened in Asia (mind you, not jes INDO!). I tot developed countries are better than that. I tot laws and regulations are fully-functioned here. Apparently, not. I was being rather naive with all the concept of a developed nation, dont I?

Am I - are you - being cheated with the thoughts of wonderful life in a very cultured country, say, Australia?

Down along the path, I read something about how ignorance is a bliss. Being the clueless that I am, may I take that phrase as a foolish remark? For me, ignorance means not caring.. for anything, anyone. And I realised not long ago that no man is an island. As isolated as we think we are to society, there's no certainty that we could actually live in such circumstances. For all I know, I never wanna be tagged 'ignorant', be it for trivial things. But hey, thats just me.

The HSI people aint surely copped for 'ignorance', don't they?

bitch-fest

watched princess diary 1 on tv. i watched one-too-many teen flicks over the years. Each movie clearly acknowledge the 'social strata' happening in high school these days. the popular kids, the geeks, the junkies, etcetera. In princess diary, the princess happened to be one of the nerds. A scene showed how intoxicated she was when one of the popular jocks started to talk to her (which never happens in like, ever!). Wat im sayin is, have you ever feel the same as that princess mia felt? you know, all tingly, mabuk kepayang, intoxicated, whatever word that fits, just becos the popular dude starts talking to u?

personally, i dislike the jocks. they all like backstreet boys clones. The pretty guys, vain and shallow. Ok, i judged too early. Maybe not all of 'em. but seriously, i dislike those backstreet boys look-alike. all of them.

come to think of it, does indo HS really have these kind of groupings of students?

Neng wktu di sma dulu ada gak sih? kyknya ada ya.. but we dun care less abt 'em did we? lol. well, i was a bit of ignorant back then (still does, a lil bit :p). my motto was, my life is my life, your life is your life. so whoever not in our circle, i simply... ignore. is it consider arrogance? i'm not sure.

It's a mass suicide! seriously.

Have a listen to this

don't you just wanna die hearing it? i knoe she's an heiress who crap dollars, but girl, pls dont sing.
stars are blind. you are very much blinded with your narcissism.
.... their talk is suicide. err.. listening to you sing is suicide by all means.
i wonder will it be a hit? beggin pls.. dont.

the singer is none other. miss paris hilton herself. yes.. she wanna outdo miss. lohan.
well, let see..

model - check
actress - check
porn star... (?) - check
the "it" girl - check
singer - CHECK!

i'm jealous tho. she can crashed her bentley and feelin OK an hour later. while me got no bentley at all. bah. rather than crashing it, why not giving it for charity. i.e. me. :) i wonder if she's alot smarter than people think? the dumm blonde persona prolly jes an act. Nah, who am i kidding.

I knoe this posting is crap. I din plan to post it here. jes becos FS blog isnt compatible with all the media player thingy (which i intended to add in here, but on second thought, better not!) and blogger does. so here it is. I was gonna post something about Paris' bentley anyway. so why not together with her new single. which i think is crap to the core! lol.

anyhoo... updates:
work's fine today. lately postings are more of work log isnt it? all i talked about is my work.
i like night shifts. ppl are somehow friendlier, be it customers or work mates. i jes found out there are 2 indos working there. they seem nice but donno yet. havnt talked much. but enuf abt it. i might bore u to death.

i wanna cut my hair. i hate to have to ponytail my hair at work.

things in mind

it's been another down time with no particular reason, or not that i'm aware of. been recalling the now and then. what i've learned and realised. aaahh! there things to say yet difficult to put 'em in words.

• I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances. have you ever pushed and challenged yourself one step ahead to an extent in which means to step out of your comfort zone and afterwards you knoe you've done something? the feeling be it regret, relieved or pride. at the end, you just kno you did something that you never think you'd done in the past. a step forward to various chapters of life. u kno wat i mean? it's sort of a pathway to maturity, maybe. i donno. i'm still on my baby steps. :)

"...And how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it." JD Scrubs


• learn to stand up for yerself and altogether bite your tongue. basically, knoe where you stand and when to make a point.
• holding back is not a merry escape. open up to people and just loosen up really remove the wrinkles away. if u get wat i mean. lol. but seriously, somehow, it's much more fun.
• open door to a new atmosphere really is a hard work. the early months surely not the honeymoon phase. uh-uh! big no-no. These are the major adjustment days where you need to find your place and finally feel at home. no one knows the bloody hell i'm talking about, do they?
• thinking about all things too much will stress out your mind. i need to shut down my brain and not think about things.

ah mbuh lah.

on a lighter note, this dude Jackson Rathbone, guest starred in the O.C and Close to home, has lived everywhere around the globe. Shockingly, he has lived in INDO!! how odd is that? maybe not too much. but still, knowing that there are people outside asia who have the slightest link with Indo is still exciting!

you knoe what, i read a girl's blog and saw some piccies of hers. she's indo grew up overseas and still live there. i tot she's one of the ordinary, but then i saw the piccies of her house overseas, omigod, mansion bok! then i started to ponder that her parents are just one of those Indos who think that we're in monetary crisis(?) She's just one of the Richie Rich of Indo. Imagine how huge their houses in Indo when they have mansion overseas? and there are others without mansion nor a mere raggedy shack. The gap is toooooooooooo huge to even imagine. I cant bear to imagine it further. *sigh* and earlier i wanted to shut down my thoughts? bah. failed miserably.

btw, i've finished my assignment! So this semester has ended for me. Yay. I need to go to uni to fix up some enrolments thingy tho. Will do that wednesday along with my doc's appointment. my right ear hurt so badly. it's 1.11AM. I have a good 45 minutes to pamper my eyes to a gorjes lookin' dinosaurus. lol. loook, he's gorjes no doubt, but his attitudes buleey bgt! well, he is buley gitu loh. anyway, he's good for the sore eyes.

ps: i hate the new word verification on blogger. annoying as.

not upset anymore

i've forgiven firefox and the bugs .. and my pc.

just recap on things i wrote earlier that got lost. it's just about how i crave distractions wen i'm busy with assignments. how i cant concentrate 100% wen it's not near due date. how i search for getaways wen it's time to do assignments. bottomline, things i'd do to escape assignments. mostly is blogging. it's not really a therapeutic getaway. nah, just an escape refreshment. *whatthe?*

moving on, i wrote about my new addiction to youtube.com. i found most of vintage-y movies on youtube and it was lots fun. today i watched japanese manga - glass mask. anyone knoe it? it's an old fairy tale, every comic lovers must knoe about it! it's the ultimate never-ending manga ever! i still donno how it ends.

finally, i wrote about how nerve-wrecking tomoro's work gonna be. public holiday and monday would cause a major hectic in store. *eeks* thinking about it makes me more nervous. so.. i plan not to think about it again for the rest of the nite. yep, done.


oh. i knoe i sed i was working on my final assignment jes now, but i still cant give 100%. therefore, i blogwalk to a friend of a friend's blogs and continue from there. there's a movie called 'funny ha ha' which intrigues me quite much. The title itself is point blank funny haha, thus i expect the movie is bloody heck be a fucken cracker. it looks like indie movie, is it not? must google later. after ament finish, of course ;)

one thing i hate from blogwalking is how insecure myself is. i don feel the postings on my blog is good enuf. or worthy enuf to read. or boring as hell. Uh, i got intimidated on virtual world too? damm..

uhh.. ticking tock. 9 more hours before i gotta get ready for work. bah. i'm not hating the job, i'm hating the fact that i'm slow learner. and i have this ament to finish by 5pm tmr too! i blame no one but myself for not having good time management. insted, i lazed myself way too much. i'm not as motivated as everyone might think.

world cup is on. do i care? no.

crap!

i hate my pc rite now.
it has too many bugs and incompatibilities with its' softwares/hardwares, whatever.
i wrote a fucken long post and the damm firefox had some 'technical problems' and needs to be closed. i havnt saved it yet and now it's all gone!! uannyiingg.
it happens alot! ugghhh im too upset, i even start to work on my assignment! bah

hate you pc!!
hate you bugs!
hate you firefox!!


ps: i want a cat pet. but dont wanna do all the dirty work. i jes wanna pet them. since the apt is all carpeted, so u can imagine the work i must do if it's not potty trained! huhu bayanginnya aja udah ngeri.. but i still want a cat!! i want a catttttt!!!!! (see, how spoilt i am?)
want cat.

....

You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I ....
don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be
with you.

I'm currently having a massive despicable crush.... to someone I saw in a crowded place. I'll leave it at that. It's embarrasing to even start with. Eu fui dedicado à voce

convos

the days are pretty dull becos i'm not challenged with some intelligent convos. at uni, nothing. at home, worse. at work? well, not at all cos im still the newbie :p

i miss my gals at indo. i miss the pointless talks at coffeeshops or cafes. we dont goss about our mutual friends. we goss about celebs, whom (in our defense) loves to be talked about. we raise issues from politics, social awareness to fashions and food! me, personally, don't watch the news as a reguler habit. just once in a while when the mood's coming. so having them talking me about these updates at least i got something in return.

huu i miss them so. i miss the intellectual talks a bit more. cos im feeling pretty dumm rite now.
u know like those dumm blonde barbies? not the exterior part, just the inside. if u get wat i mean.

such a perv!

haha jes checking my photos on yahoo. apparently, there are one-to-many piccies of "them" from the past life. the year was 2002-2004 when the deliberate "perviness" took massive control. There's something missing within the gap of the year 04 and the present. it's laughter, i guess.

the happy days.

i keep wonder.. what makes it different between the past and present?
am i not the same person as i used to be?
it's just complicated.

tau deh gak jelas gini. abis terkaget2 liat photo album yahoo gue ndiri. LoL.

sunny winter day

i wanna go outside. out in the park. watch people dancing their lives.
it's a bright sunny day. why won't I allowed to wander in the city and just be one with my own thoughts?
is it harmful to think much of everything?
daydreaming may help freshen my mind.

i wanna sit in the park. alone and watch people walk by.
if i can just take pictures of everything that amuses me,
as simple as the bright sun shining the dried old trees.

birds singing without an end. the loud DJ talking non-stop on my earphones.
and I'm just there.. listening and watching the rhythm of the day.

is it common, or it's the introvert thing? :p

smile

have u ever smile in public jes becos u read text message from someone dear? or maybe not someone so special, but someone's text thats so amusing? did people find that weird? to smile alone with yourself and in public place. listened to radio and hear the loud DJs screaming the whats and what nots, sarcastic bits here and there. it's difficult to not smile.

Things made me smile today:

the youngest "bro" of the brothers walked down the isle last saturday!!! congrats dude. but still, i'm only half excited for you. huh!

Do you know Paris Hilton made an album? God knows who'll actually buy the damn CD. but I shudnt say that shud I? I mean, there are people praise her "simple life" then why not "stars are blind"? well, it is the "heiress" record. the record of the "it" girls. doubtful to be missed! ya gak?

Today is the 6 of the 6 of the 6. 666 the mark of the beast. the day of the devil. a day of the devil's child is born. for all I know, satanic cults all over the world are waiting their chrissy presents early this year! and tomoro's a "boxing day" at MYER, 666's version. (for those not in the know, here we have boxing day every 26s december, which is after christmas. since today is the devil's big day (666), so luckily MYER is willing to have their boxing day early by opening a stocktake sale early tomoro morning, nationwide! so you see, Myer don't wanna discriminate any beliefs, thus they also respect the "gifts day" for satanic worshipers to have their blissful day today and buy gifts tomoro!) Have a merry 666 everyone!! --- gue niat banget ya mikir beginian?


oh updates: the job's better today. but perhaps this bcos i have a safety net, which is the "training" tag attached on me. hence people cant go ballistic wen i din deliver as required. next week i got four shifts. damn. i jes donno how to decline. i do need the money tho. me want uggies!! :p

btw miss.d is this the kinda posting u want me to write? i remember u sed something about me writing the blog. writings about me, insted of about stories of others like i usually written? :p well... i'm not an open book. *grin*

my arms all sore!!

it's the 2nd day job. awful than the first. extreme disaster! my arms are all sore. customers put on their grumpy faces. a lady report to the supervisor and a man actually monitoring the screen just to make sure i din make the same mistakes as i did to the lady earlier. Agh! it's not so friendly envo after all. But hey, it's the real world. many many manyy people have sed it to me gazillion times about it everytime i feel hatred about jobs and all intact to 'em. it's again about comfort zone and how i'm out of it.

maybe all i need is plain ignorance and not get too sensitive about any of it. thatll ease my mind about shits people gave me during the day. need to try out on that. learning curve is a on a low turn on my side, which they not exactly looking for in an employee. bah.

tmoro's another shift. will i get better or worse? hopefully, better!

a quickie

jes a brief note i read from a friend's blog. cannot link it here tho.
but anyway, it talks about frenster and what it brings to us. once i tot of it too, the same one as she brought up on her latest post. 'tis about catching up with our old frends whom we've lost contacts with, thru tacit media (blogs, piccies, profiles). as time goes on, people moved on as well. Some of my school and uni frends have stepped on to their own new chapters in life, be it marriage, working labor, execs, enterpreneur, and all others. in all honesty, i do envy them. sometimes its good to see how theyre doing, but all in the same time, i dont wanna know how theyre doing. frenster let us know how these people are doing in their current lives. that is, if they regularly update their fs. considering indos are highly addicted to fs, so ya most likely they'll come in and out to the bloody page to 'brag' about whats-hot-about-me-now news!

i've sed it many times, sometimes frenster really good at connecting people, esp. some dear old friends, but also it brings out some insecurities hidden deep down in our concience. or maybe it's jes the both of us.

there so many memories coming back at me jes by seeing piccies. sometimes the past has better memories to keep and remembering it in the present makes us realise how we're missing it dearly. oh well.. we cant turn back the time anyways.

DINOsauruss resurrectedd!!!

LOL!! Nah.. the man is DINO from big brother house 2006! he's evicted tonite.. :( I'm an avid BB viewer for the past 4 years. can i jes say that DINO is the most gorjes dude in the house for the period of 5 years they had the BB show??!?! Now is it fair to have that "uniqueness" ( :p) in the house to get evicted only in mere weeks?!! at least give him a break and let him stay until the final four. he's entertaining for cryin' out loud! he's the bitchiest dude ever as a housemate! he breaks the stereotypes that only women can bitch. he's the token bitch guy! LOL. why evict him Australia?! bodoh kau.

I'm such a reality tv dorky arent I? hehe Dont care. BB's no fun without the DINO man. who else will bitch about other HMs? we need that entertainment, not the chaos mikey did. no no. mikey's a jerk-ass! Huhuuu why evict Dinooo???

You know what's funny. I tried to google his name. plain dino like that. all I get was something relates to dinosour! Tried to google images too. everything came out as dinosours piccies. ROTFL but anyway... he's out now. and bb's not entertaining anymore.


.... Ah, big brother's Bosnian Burrito is out. come and get me. LOL

updates: btw he don like the new tags as bitchy, racist, over-competitive, chauvinistic and homophobe.

whats the line between being bitchy and honesty?

Math in different perspective

something i heard from triple M on the way home today.
1 mouth 2 ears, listen more than speak. you do the math.
get it?

Polyserena, it's never over

So rather than being pushed around, I'm going to push you away first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I'm going to lock it with a key
so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me

Do you think I'm asking too much?
A kind of respect and trust that shouldn't even be questioned,
how can I open my heart with dishonesty sitting next to me?
I was ashamed of my innocence but now with clarity I see that your bullshit is just not worthy of me

This is not worthy of me and now with clarity I see that I can walk away, I can walk away....