things.

Feeling sooky la-la. I feel i'm falling deep down to infinity. Silence isnt helping anyone. songs just bring up the crappy tears. I'm not sure what depression feels like but surely I feel shitty right now, for no reason at all. At a time maybe I'm in denial of something. Things that I know inside but wont admit cos then they'd be real? A friend asked why I'm sad. Loneliness, boredom, feeling the dumbest of all, and simply tired with a dull life giveaway all the clues. It always happens like this... out of the blue it appears and seems wont fade away. I'm not sure why and clearly don't understand when will it stop. I thought I can just ignore and move on if continues telling myself that it won't happen again. It'll be different from that day on. It's never been different and perhaps worst than before. I'm not talking about the inevitable changes nor about "pairwise".

This night is quiet but is it peace we're all feeling?

Loneliness is always looking for a friend
It found me once and it has been around since then
Loneliness is never waiting by the door
It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored
Why, hwy was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

I don't know what or who I'm looking for to pushed away this massive emptiness. Sometimes it hurts and sad altogether but when I think about it, there's no reason to explain why. I'm really unsure what's upsetting me today. My mind full of many thoughts but they all seem too much of a nonsense to cause me to sook as this. Do you ever feel you're at your lowest low but you don't know what causes it? youre just sad without any apparent reason....

I hate her. I hate that bitch. I hate I have nothing to pursue. I hate optimism or trying to stay optimist. I hate trying to find the better self. I hate to always have to find a future. I hate to think about what I want with life. Fuck life. I hate my school. I hate my subjects. I hate the people at uni. I hate most of everything about uni. I hate things are very dull and boring. I hate everything everyone and her!! I despise people. I hate love songs. I hate talking about love! I hate people who try to comfort me with opposite views than of those i've said. I'm hating everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And those I've mentioned?
arent everything.