selfishness backfired.

So i'm home. in Jakarta that is.
Blogging this from work, because I'm so emotionally wrecked right now.

My 10 days getaway was full of selfishness. The thought of what brings
ME happiness. I thought it's common to think that, it's alright to
think that.
I went to Melbourne, contemplating and reliving my early 20s. Finally,
to decide I'm better off in Jakarta, with many considerations and
loving thoughts, insyaAllah.

But then, my 10 days getaway is backfired. I went home, here in
Jakarta, to have the talks.
1 with mum.
2 with him.
3 with superiors at work.

The talk with him was emotional.
This, I did not expect, at all.

I thought we could resolve everything, about us. about him and I. Me
and my selfishness maybe was too full-on for him to digest.
We had the talk.
He need space. I surrender to his request.

Now, I couldn't do my work. Blogging this to get him, the thoughts,
the guilt, out of my mind.
Things are more uncertain than it was before. Partly due to my
ignorance towards him.

My 10 days getaway was also for me to reflect on my feelings, I didn't
think of his.

My selfishness backfired and it ain't cool at all.
Things never run smooth according to what I want.
Not about this, not about him.

I should give him space, shouldn't I?