Gay friend in Jakarta

So get this.

I've never had a gay friend before. Well, there was this one ex-colleague, but back then he didn't know I know. Top it off, we weren't that close, so he doesn't count.

Anyway.
This gay friend I'll be speaking of (or rather, write of) is still in-the-closet. Not so much in the closet as his behavior goes, but he hasn't dare to come out, out. Means, he doesn't say it out loud.

His daily attitude has shown that he's curious to this world. He doesn't shy showing his interest to men to our colleagues. Oh, did I say he's my current colleague? Well, he is.

He doesn't say he's gay, or we saying it to him. So to my understanding, he's borderline.
At a point where he couldn't hold his urges, but another he couldn't proudly to come out. Social and family wise. Not that he's married, but towards his parents and siblings. Often times, I just wanna say OK for him to come out. On the other side, I wouldn't want his mum to kill me if she finds out I pushed his son to come out.

I was awestruck when he texted me only to ask 'how to approach guys'.
Dude, eventhough we both after men, but you're talking to the wrong crowd. If i knew how, those straight men won't be getting married to other girls. Hmm.. maybe he and I should buy lots and lots 'How To' books.

But anyway, everytime I asked if he's serious or if he really wants to find a same-sex partner.. A jokester -I think- would instantly answer: Nah, just mucking around.

But no. his answer had me convinced.
It was like this: 'I don't dare'.

Give him few nudges, I bet he'd dare to come out and maybe then leave Indonesia. To be free of prejudice and judgment eyes.

Not that I'm judging or nosy to even blog about him here, but he's interesting in my circle. I've never had a gay friend, or those even close to the gays. Their crowd's not weird, but sometimes if you're not bestbuds with them.. you kinda have to know the mood around.

That's what I'm feeling always.
He and I aren't bestbuds. Knowing he's still in-the-closet, the comments I told him couldn't be too blunt either.
It's kinda difficult. I have to tiptoe - in supporting but not too much.

This is why my gaydar ain't working properly in Jakarta. Too many gray areas.
He is or he isn't.

Metrosexual men aren't helping either! I say if men want to be Metrosexual, there has to be law that insist them to be married first. Ergo, fading the gray areas. These men just confused us single ladies to finding the right Mister!

Are you confused too?