bingung

iya. saya bingung dgn perasaan saya sekarang. seneng, sedih, putus asa, ato malah.. biasa aja? Bingung sumpah Bingungg..

alesannya?
It's only been 3 months (going to 4) since 2006 started. You know how many wedding informations have I received? ... I stop counting.

It's sorta depressing you know. They are all my age. We spent our teen - adolescent years giggling, hanging out, studying, or whatever kids did together. Not all the time, but they were there. They're once part of my life. Small portion or big time. Now, somehow.. I'm drifted apart. Far Faraway to a dreamland and never reality. It's sad really.

They seem to have found their soulmate, or for those who havent found.. they're looking. Before all these invitations, I never would've thought about it. Yes, I've said Lover is better than hubby. At the time, it feels right. I think it still is, but other things starts to wrestle in my mind. Hmm Dunno lah.

Look, it's not that I'm not happy for all my friends. I'm most happy to see them happy. Maybe it's becoz I realize now.. We've changed (in a good way).

I've never tot of wedlock until these invitations stroke me at my face. Over twentytu, the world isn't a playground no more. A tot that I always kept in mind. Twentytu.. starts diggin' for a better life. Goshdarnit!

[If I were one of Parker & Stone's made up character, I'd be Tweak.]