Disuatu malam...

Them stare. So Judgemental. Clear obvious.
Cynically Profound. Deliberately disgusted.

Them eyes. Black color, roundish oval.
From hair to toes. Observant? Pfuit!

You see, I learnt that some things are rigidly black and white.
Just like walking on shreads of broken glasses.
The pain's instantly aching...
but you won't go back (u cant!).
Cos you've stepped on once and the word quitter's never on agenda!

It's the episode of heartaching not heartbreaking..
As Anna "the OC" said.. "Confident (cohen), Confident!"

===

It ain't about love.
It's about what the heart desires. And it currently aching, deep.
Missing something not someone.
It's a different kinda love. Yet the same warm fuzzy feeling persist.

Crudely say, Hating'em who have judgementally abused me!
A day which I asked for a solitude haven..
And the crowd would whisper,
This is the real world, dear.
It sucks but you're gonna love it!
'til THE magic beans appear and you wouldn't understand why.

ha ha back to cyber world!

been a while eh. I don't miss much tho. well in terms of blogging and curhatan-curhati beginian. I'm literally numb and blank-faced (is it a word?). Come to think of it, been living 3 weeks doing absolutely nothing really is bore the farkin' mind, is it not? DANG there'll be another 2-3 months to go and I feel very dull already. I feel extremely dumb and dull. whatta life eh?!

hokay nevamind that. Update of these past 3 weeks. That, I called.. the dullness of our lives. (DOOL - my version :P)

letsee... my goal for this hols is to always do something new and apparently I've done some new things that I hadn't yet done in the past. Theyre not new to the world, no, but theyre new for me. I'm trying to reconcile things with some household troubles.. it's still work in progress. I also do some sport activities (hurrah! finnaly), I try to do aerobics every day 'xcept weekends and planning on getting treadmill at home (hoho more expenses!). This past 3 weeks, I don't quite fancy malls as I used to.. Whenever I went to malls, it has to be for lunch/dinner, movies, or get some sport activity inside malls (e.g bowling).. it's actually quite fun, realy.. compared to just wandering round, window shopping which usually end-up over-expense shopping! Honestly, I'm gettin' bored with what the city can give to me. I need new things!

Other things, InsyaAllah in 2 weeks I start the internship that Dad has 'helped' us in getting it. Not proud, but not ashamed as well. There ought to be a stepping stone at one point, is it not? The thing is, I'm quite worry about the job. It's completely different with all my degrees. I don't even have the slighest idea on what the dude said during interview. If you can call it an interview that is! Thankfully, the job only took a short period of time. Yet I'm tremendously worried about it. Hey, it ain't me if not worrying about every tiny 'lil thing in this farkin' life. Hopefully though, I can get through it well and finally earn the experience I desperately wanted.

Ya know what, I miss Melbourne!!!!!!!! not entirely though. there are bits and pieces that I dearly misses about that city. But I also don't wanna leave this city as yet. I met old friends. I hung out with the best chicas in town. I did new things that are actually fun!

the drawback? I have limited space. no no i'm still okay with it. The space, I mean. But I'm used to being 'whatever I want and wishes all day, all the time'. Now, I have to consider for others. Ah no one knows what I mean anyways. I just need to adapt. Yeah, thats what I always have to do. Adapt and adjust anywhere, everywhere.

I can't sleep. Prolly due to the intern thing. It's 10 days from now and it's like a ticking bomb. Maybe I worry to nuch cos of the pressure of dad's help for the job? More so, these are his colleagues. Damn if I'm not quick and adjust well, not only I'd be embarassed but also dad? See, pressure pressure. that's why I slightly disapprove this kinda family engagement in any of job hunting zone. But without any family engagement, it'd be a hella needle in the hays situation for finding an internship for short period of time in respectable company. Arggh I just hope I'd stop worrying and just have some positive thinking that I'm capable to do the job!

sigh... I wish I'm that optimistic!

O ya, I'm lovin Doc. Jack from LOST. Yes, A new hot doc in town, baby!! unfortunately, the tv series suck!! it ain't what I expected to be, the ending I mean. I regret not sleeping all night long just to finish one whole season and not getting any satisfaction afterwards.

another good-lookin' dude in town is a local boy. why I said boy, cos he is a just a BOY! he played some dude in a movie entitled Alexandria. He has a twin, but still he's the cute one. But theyre all so childish lookin'. So boyish okay. But cute lookin anyway. good enough. :) all i know that theyre names are marcel and mischa. Mind you, not mischa barton. This mischa is a dude! but thats not who i'm likin'. His brother, marcel, is the good lookin one. Both very boyish though.

alrighty lah. I'm outta here.
wish me luck on the intern thing. :(