on partnership and being lonely

An interesting topic arises during dinner with a new friend last night.
We're the thirty-something single women in Jakarta who were very fortunate to sipped overseas life during our childhood/adolescent years. There were we, having our sushi treats, discussing about culture shock in our country, tolerance, and partnership.

I guess, if we were back to London or Melbourne, thirty-something is your mature age to spike-up your career lives with minor disruptions from nagging family to get married or to breed.

I was her, at some point, I guess.
Disagreeing to eastern culture that women has to be married at certain age and breed.
The option should be there, of course, but to wed and breed are not your only option. This was me, I guess.

At the end of the day, you can't help but to notice an irresistible temptation crawling into  your life. It's called, being lonely. Sometimes, having  a partner, regardless the long-term purpose, short-term is to have a companion. Lucu juga semalam dengan jujur merespon tentang kesepian. Jujur itu memang menakutkan ya!

Ergo my conclusion about my present life, finding a partner can be equal portion to spike-up your career. At the end of the day, you are aware that loneliness as a significant element in life that you want to minimize its portion.Perhaps finding long-term companion should have equal effort as to better career.

Friends may be the best companion, in sickness and health, but they do have their own family as priority and we need to understood that. Family, they can be too dysfunctional and tolerance is on high alert.
I guess, partner is whom you can share all of these - being dysfunctional, tolerable, the bestest companion, priority. but all in all, going through all of these, are as it is, without pressure from one another.

Tolerance, until how far?
Loneliness, to what portion are bearable? 

a new perspective from here on end

so, the ending 2012 was a  ......
blessing in disguise.

my spiritual journey has just begun from that day on, despite all the 'gift' Allah has given me, I understood the purpose of it all.
Believing greatness will come out of this, was  very difficult to digest at the beginning.
Now I believe, eventually, slowly, I will be there.


Of all the secrets I carry  about his past, with anger and hatred I can destroy a person's life into lowest gutter.
But I fear, I fear that doing so won't bring me contentment. It could bring me to much lowest level than him.
I fear, revenge is a spiteful thing.

Instead, I wrap all of these inside and deliver them through my prayers.
Let Him work His fairness. 

Forgiving isn't easy but tired of anger and hatred.

Lessons learned. A life lesson, spiritual beginning and a never-ending patience.
I'm my mum's daughter, through and through.
Had to learn from the hard-way, but am grateful to eternity for this 'blessing'.

InshaAllah I will have my mum's never-ending patience and strong endurance. Amin..